Protected (Book 1 in the Ariya Adams trilogy) Read online

  The next week James was behind me as I was heading out of my Human Intimacy class. He may not be talking to me, but I could feel his presence. I should probably head to our group lunch. I had avoided it since Riley and I had our falling out. I had avoided almost everything with everyone. I needed to stop acting like this. It was pathetic and radically unlike me. My sensitivities had taken over, and as much as I didn’t want to admit anything beyond a feeling of friendship with Riley, it did feel strange.

  How could I possibly have feelings for two guys? I wasn’t in love with Riley like I was with James, that I knew. But Riley wouldn’t hurt me and I did love him. I didn’t want to lose him. I kept trying to figure out if my feelings for Riley stemmed from thinking I either had to be with him or lose him, or if it was possibly more. I was so focused on the feeling James was giving me, and my Riley versus James internal battle, that I didn’t look where I was going. I slammed into someone and stammered an apology.

  It was Riley.

  My face turned red. I could feel the color change. I stepped back, desperately trying to get rid of the blush on my face. Then I noticed he wasn’t alone. There was a girl with him. My blush deepened, but my stomach also decided to knot up. Who was she? So much for him being in love with me.

  “Hey, Ariya.” He smiled a small smile and I nodded. I felt someone come up next to me and noticed it was James.

  “Riley,” he nodded.

  They were cold towards each other. What was that about? And, what was James doing, butting in like this? The norm now was for him to ignore me.

  “This is Helen,” he said, finally introducing us to the girl he was with.

  Helen was beautiful. She had a girl-next-door look about her. Her smile was genuine. Her beautiful, shiny, black hair hung just below her petite-framed shoulders. A twinge of jealousy surged through me.

  I tried to smile, but my heart ached. Riley was with someone else already and perfectly fine with not even being friends. Clearly, I had been the only one agonizing over this. There I was thinking he was suffering, too. Did I want him to be having a tougher time? Geez, Ariya some friend you are.

  I had never felt like that before. Of course I didn’t want him torn up! I wanted him to move on so we could be friends again. What was wrong with me? Why was I letting bitterness eat away at me?

  “Sorry, I’m late for … something. Nice to meet you, Helen.” I turned and shuffled away from the awkward situation as quickly as possible.

  Helen probably thought I was crazy, not a great first impression. I sensed James again, and then he was directly in front of me.

  “Are you all right?”

  I glared at him. “No, but it doesn’t concern you, James.”

  “I’m sorry about Riley. I heard you tell Caroline what happened.”

  “It’s none of your business what happened,” I snapped, a bit too cruelly.

  I wasn’t in control anymore. I needed to get home. Caroline would be able to calm me down. I needed to regain control. I hated feeing like I wasn’t in charge of my own body.

  I childishly stomped back to the apartment to find Caroline. I knew this was a time when I could turn to her for comfort, and maybe I needed to. She was still my best friend, after all. I pushed through the door and found her sitting on the couch with Nick.

  “Can I talk to you?” I asked.

  She bounced off the couch faster than normal and said, “Of course.”

  I smiled and walked to my room, threw my bag in a corner, and crawled into bed. She hopped in beside me, rubbing my back as tears rushed out of me. I started talking to her about everything. What I was feeling, my conversation with James, my day with Riley, meeting Helen. Everything that I had kept in and been dwelling on for two weeks came pouring out. I kept crying. I didn’t want to stop, even if I could have. Sometimes a good cry is cleansing, but this was like a poison that I wanted to get out of my system. Caroline was quiet the whole time, and I realized I had just needed to get it all out.

  As soon as I was done, the tears slowed down and I felt better. I sat up, knowing there was one more person I needed to hear from that could make this better. My mom. I thanked Caroline and told her I was going to make a phone call, and then come spend some time with her. She got up and left, closing the door behind her.

  I called my mom to check in. She always had such great advice, and now, more than ever, I missed my parents. I missed my family.

  “Hey, Mommy!” I said.

  “Hey, Boo-Boo! What’s going on with you? Where have my phone calls home been? What are you, some busy college senior or something?” she reprimanded me playfully.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve had so much going on, you know, senior year and all.” I started crying again.

  It was comforting to hear her voice. They weren’t sad tears, they were just overwhelmed tears. I couldn’t wait for the day I would be able to get a grip again.

  She started chuckling. “Oh my baby, you sound just like I did my senior year. I was so emotional about every little thing.”

  “Well, at least it’s normal. I feel like it just doesn’t stop.”

  “It does once the stress goes away. I was sleeping poorly, crying, I was a mess.”

  “Really? I thought something was wrong with me. Caroline said it is probably stress.”

  It shouldn’t have made me happy that she’d had a hard time, but the fact that I might not be as crazy as I thought made me more than a little happy, it made me ecstatic.

  “She’s right. My whole senior year I had that. I was up and down, extra sad, and super happy. I got angry with people I cared about. It’s a big change you’re about to go through, sweetheart. Feeling out of control is normal, at least for women in this family. You’re going to be applying for jobs soon and starting your new life. It’s exciting, but I think the perfectionist side of my personality I passed on to you is making you crazy at the same time.”

  My mom had gone through what I was going through. Well, minus the vampires, but still. At least something was starting to make sense. We talked more and as we talked, I calmed down. I felt more in control. I told her about Riley.

  “I had a feeling he liked you. Guys just don’t act that way, in my experience at least. He was always around for you. Give him time. He’ll cool off. He’ll get over this and move on. Don’t be hard on him for having someone else. He is trying to get over you, which I know can’t be easy.” She was smiling, I could tell. “You don’t want to be with him, though? What about James? You said things were maybe starting to take off there last time we talked.”

  “No, James is out of the picture. I don’t really know what happened there.” It was just a little white lie. It’s not like I could say, ‘Hey, Mom, he’s a vampire.’ “And I don’t want to be with Riley. Especially not now. I’d be scared I’d be using him to feel better about James, and that’s not fair.”

  “Well, James just isn’t good enough for my baby then. You’re doing the right thing, it sounds like, with Riley. The fact that you care about him enough to protect his feelings shows how deep your feelings are for him. Whatever happens, you’re going to be fine, Ariya. You’re going through everything I went through and my mother went through before me, at least that’s what Grandpa told me when I went through it. It’s in our blood to care so much and to have these emotions. And, don’t you dare write Riley off completely. I don’t know this James guy, but I do know Riley. He would be quite the catch.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I was smiling again. “I love you, Mom.”

  “Love you, hunnie.”

  I hung up, feeling better than I had in awhile. At least something that was happening made sense now. This one thing from the past semester could be crossed of my list of confusion. The emotional plagues constantly washing over me were genetic and would go away. Things were finally looking up.

  I walked out of my room and saw Caroline was writing some things down in the kitchen. Taking inventory of something? Poor Caroline. She had been trying with me. She wanted
me to feel okay with everything and I had been selfish when she was reaching out, just trying to help. She was my best friend, and if there was a reason to not tell me something, it had to be good. She kept the vampire thing from me because she said she was protecting me, and I was sure that’s what she was doing now.

  “Hey,” I said and walked up behind her to give her a hug.

  “Hi.” She looked up, surprised.

  “I’m sorry, Care. I have been a real wretch lately. I have just been caught up in how I’m feeling, how this is affecting me, and I haven’t been thinking of how it has affected you. I want to know everything not because I feel like I deserve to know. I want to know because I don’t like the idea of you all being involved in something to help me that has you all putting yourselves in danger. In my mind, I see things from the sense that if I knew what was going on, I could help. So when you didn’t tell me, I thought you guys were just being stupid and overprotective for no reason, but maybe you do have your reasons. And, if your reasons are good enough to feel you can’t tell me something, then I should trust that that’s the best thing for me right now. I do trust you and I’m so, so sorry for treating you otherwise.”

  Caroline looked a bit stunned. “Ariya, you have nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry you’re going through this at all. I’m even sorrier that you are going through it alone. Vampires and werewolves surround you and your closest friend on the outside is going through some things he needs space for. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling and I’m sorry, too. I’m glad you trust me and please know I want to tell you everything. I just think we need to take this slowly. It’s a lot, new, and it can be difficult to deal with. Heck, it’s difficult for me sometimes and I am a vampire! I’m always in this world.”

  I was starting to tear up, but shook it off and walked over to the barstools and climbed up onto the seat. I had missed her. We were going to be just fine.

  “All right, enough of this crying mess. I love you. You know that. We’re good. Now, what on earth are you doing rummaging through the kitchen? I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you in here like this before.”

  “Well, we had decided to do Thanksgiving at school last year, remember? We told Riley we’d make our famous mashed potatoes, which are really your famous mashed potatoes. I was going to see what we had and write down what we needed since we’re less than two weeks away.”

  I had completely forgotten about the upcoming holidays. I had been so consumed lately with everything going on that I just wasn’t paying attention to the actual date. Was it really already Thanksgiving?

  “Crap! Good thinking.” I paused for a minute, starting to worry that maybe I wouldn’t be invited this year. “Do you think it’s okay that I still come? I mean with Riley and everything?” I hadn’t heard from him after the awkward run-in.

  “Just call him and ask, Ariya. It’s not a big deal, and I’m sure he’ll be fine having you there. It’s Thanksgiving, for goodness’ sake!”

  “How long has Helen been around?” I asked suddenly, knowing Caroline would have the answer.

  I had spilled to her that I ran into them and the awkwardness that had followed, both with Riley and with James trying to butt into my life again.

  “Last week. I guess that’s not really seeing someone, but they’ve been on three or four dates.”

  What? I thought to myself. He was over me in a week? That was fast! I felt a hitch in my stomach again that reminded me a bit of jealousy. Stop it, Ariya! I mentally told myself. Riley deserves to be happy. You aren’t jealous, you just miss your friend.

  “Really? That’s great! Maybe he’ll be ready to be my friend again.” I tried to sound happy, but I noticed my tone came out sarcastic the moment the words were out.

  “Ariya, you know he misses you. And you know he needs some time.”

  “I know and I do want him to be happy. I didn’t know I was hurting him, Caroline. I’ll call him and ask.” I went to my room to grab my phone.

  I dialed his number, realizing after the fact I had no idea how to start the conversation. It turns out I didn’t need to plan because I got sent to voicemail. This wasn’t a good sign.

  I left my voicemail, ‘Hey, Riley, it’s me. I, uh, Caroline reminded me of Thanksgiving and we were going to start getting things ready. I wasn’t sure if it was okay that I still come or not. Could you let me know? I’d love to be there, but if you, if you’re not okay with it, then I’m not.” I hung up. I should have thought out what I was going to say a little bit better. Then maybe I wouldn’t have stumbled though the message as much. I walked out of the room.

  “I left a message.”

  “Good,” Caroline said. “So I think we can make a run out to the store for decorations at least, and then we can get the food next week if you want?”

  “Well Caroline Lufsky, look at you being little Miss Suzy Homemaker!”

  “Oh hush you. Let’s go.”

  We headed off to the store. We chatted and caught up since it had been two weeks since we had a girls’ night or even an in-depth conversation about anything. I told her what my mom had said and how it had changed my mood.

  “I’m glad you talked to her. You seem much more yourself. You should have called her earlier, huh?”

  “I know. I was in my own world,” I said.

  I told her my feelings on James and how he was staying away from me, and again brought up how I felt about the similarity between what I felt for Riley and what James must feel for me. Caroline didn’t say much on the matter. Usually she gabbed about this kind of stuff and walked me through it, but I guess when it came to James, she wanted to leave that alone. They seemed to have a strange dynamic, Caroline and James.

  Questions kept arising in me, but I pushed them down and reminded myself that when Caroline was ready to tell me more, she would. Until then, I should be thankful for my friend, thankful for the understanding that came from talking to my mom about things, and thankful for my life, seeing as things really could have been much crazier than they were.

  We got to the grocery store and saw Ashley walking around aimlessly. I was so surprised to see her that I probably looked dumbfounded when she spoke to me. We hadn’t really seen her much since the beginning of the semester.

  “Hey guys. I’m just getting some things to bring to Thanksgiving.” She sniffled and added, “Now that I’m going alone. Devon still hasn’t returned my calls.” She started sobbing.

  Apparently, no one had seen or heard from Devon. I heard from Caroline that Ashley had been extremely distraught, which was evident by her emotional outburst in front of us. I wasn’t one to judge, considering this was me all the time now. I also overheard Caroline saying she’s surprised Ashley was still alive to Nick one night. Talk about picking the wrong guy! I was sure she would get over it soon and move onto someone else. Hopefully, someone human.

  Did Ashley know what Devon was? I wondered. She had holed herself up in her apartment and just recently started hanging around everyone again. I guess she had been at the movie night Riley had at his place that I skipped out on. She still seemed distant. Maybe she really had been attached to Devon. That, or scared into liking him. He was a bully, that I did know.

  I gave her a hug. What the heck, it had helped me when Caroline gave me one.

  “He’s a jerk, Ashley. You’ll find a better guy.”

  “You think?” She looked like a lost puppy, and I was reminded that Ashley’s sole purpose in being here was finding a man.

  Mine was not that, and so I made a mental note to get back to my old self and soon. I didn’t want someone looking at me the way I was looking at Ashley.

  “Of course, look at you. You’re never alone long.”

  Apparently, she was easy to cheer up because she snapped out of it, telling us of course she would. She started walking away, saying she thought she saw a cute cashier that she could flirt with. The girl was insane.

  I turned back to Caroline and took her move by rolling my eyes. She laughed and
grabbed me by the arm. We started picking up things she had on her list. We finished by getting some bowls for our potatoes and some decorations, since we had told Riley we would help with everything. He texted me while we were out. I read it out loud to Caroline.

  “Of course you’re still invited. See you then.”

  “See!”

  “See what, that he’s still not speaking to me? Yeah, I see that.” Deep breath. I felt myself calm down instantly and did a little cheer that I was able to rein in an outburst. Talking to my mom really had helped.

  “Take what you can get, Ariya. At least he’s speaking to you. Well, texting, but it’s better than no answer at all.”

  “I know, I know. Hey, wanna stay in with me tonight? Pretty please? I’ve missed you.”

  “Well, I was planning on that anyways. Even if I had to tie you to the couch, I was going to make you spend time with me. So, I’m in.” She nudged me and we headed to check out.

  “I’ll even let you decide what we do. As long as it isn’t some creepy vampire thing.”

  She laughed at me. “Deal.”

  We walked back into the apartment, giggling and goofing off. I was finally starting to feel like I could be myself again. However, all that happiness was sucked out of us when we walked into our place.

  I could almost feel the tension the minute the door opened. Nick, James, and some blonde-haired girl were all sitting in our living room. Caroline walked in behind me.

  “Hey guys,” I said tentatively. “What’s going on?”

  We walked around the corner and I got a better look at the rest of the blonde. She had her legs draped over James’ on the couch. Awesome. Who in the world was she?

  Whoever she was, she was slender with extremely long hair that was curled at the ends. She had ice blue eyes. One look and I already didn’t like her. Clearly, this was not going to be fun, whatever it was, simply for the fact that whoever she was, she knew James and seemed to be all over him.

  She stood up and said hello. As I continued to look at her, I realized she had the same color blonde hair as I did, and her blue eyes were only a shade lighter than mine. She was narrower shouldered than I was, but sort of had my chin. The only reason I noticed is because I hated my chin. It was a bit strange looking at her, because it felt like I had met her before.